Coping with grief when it seems impossible

Coping with the loss of a loved one can be one of the most painful and difficult experiences we face in our lives. It can seem like there is simply no way to overcome such a challenge or find a way to make it through and continue normality. But there are ways that can help you process the events and incorporate them into your life in a more manageable way.

1. Grief comes in cycles

It can be helpful to remember that grief comes in cycles. Even when you feel calm and headstrong, it’s not abnormal to suddenly experience an outburst. It doesn’t mean that you have moved backwards or undone any effort to cope. Knowing that it’s a normal part of the grieving process can allow you to accept all emotions, even the unexpected ones and continue moving forwards.

2. Emotional states are temporary

There’s no roadmap for grieving and no set stages to guide you on how you’re feeling, which can be frustrating for some. But no matter how you’re feeling right now, remember that life itself is full of ups and downs. Sometimes you need to ride the waves of life and trust that it won’t feel like this forever. Every emotional state is temporary, including how you are feeling right now.

3. You are more resilient than you think

How many times have you doubted your ability to get through something? In the moment, it can seem impossible and something you can’t ever imagine getting through. Yet, when we look back at some of the most painful moments we’ve already experienced, we can see we did make it through those times. You are stronger than you think and the pain you’re experiencing right now is allowing you to strengthen your resilience and ability to cope.

4. Take care of yourself

Grieving for a loved one can be exhausting and depleting of your energy. Whilst the over-consumption of food and alcohol can be a quick fix and temporarily numb the pain in the moment, long-term they can have the opposite effect. Ensure you take care of your body by regularly drinking water, eating healthy foods, staying connected to friends and getting plenty of rest.

5. Reach out to support groups

Oftentimes it can be helpful to meet with others who are experiencing a similar situation. The grieving process can feel extremely unpredictable with unexpected emotions. Having someone to share that with can be beneficial to both in reminding you that you’re not alone. You never need to feel isolated through the grieving process and sharing the journey with others can be healing for you both.

6. Acknowledge different feelings

The grieving process is not linear and the varying emotions can leave you feeling out of control. But remember that whatever you are feeling is normal for you. There is no correct way to grieve and the emotions you experience may fluctuate from shock, denial, anger, acceptance, guilt, depression and hope. Naming the different emotions you face out loud can bring awareness to them allowing you to gain back a little control over them.

7. Reminisce on your relationship

When going through the grieving process, it can be comforting to remember the positive ways in which your loved one impacted your life. A crucial part of dealing with, and accepting, loss is by talking about your loved one and celebrating their life. Remind yourself of the wonderful things they brought to your life and honour them by participating in activities such as raising money for their favourite charity.

8. Talk to someone

There are a number of different ways you can access support. Through community lines or groups, or to a bereavement counsellor and therapist. It can be helpful to talk through your emotions in order to help process them. Reaching out can be a difficult first step but asking for help and support through this time will allow you to accept your new reality and find a way to move forward.

“The things I tell my clients are that, in grief, there is no competition, no hierarchy and no comparison. Grief is not a problem to be solved. Grief is an emotional response and every loss is unique.” - MYNDUP practitioner Yogita - Accredited Pharmacy & health professional, Executive, Relationships, Family and Confidence coach

Reach out to our friendly need today if you need support hello@myndup.com.