How to deal with a worrying mind

Are you a worrier?

Do you find yourself always having something to worry about?

And if you solve your worries, do you find something else to worry about?

If so, it may feel as though worrying is never ending and like there is no other way to manage a difficult experience.

But there is something that’s worth reminding ourselves of. Our thoughts lead to our feelings, which lead to our behaviours.

Worrying usually leaves us feeling anxious, self critical and indecisive. Which then means our behaviour aligns with those thoughts and feelings.

Worry is a habit of thought. The more we engage in the habit, the more it becomes automatic. Worrying is something we do unconsciously, without realising.

The good news is that, because worry is a habit, we can break that habit. We can then create new healthy habits of thought instead. Because it’s automatic and unconscious it requires a little self awareness, practice and patience.

The job of the mind is to keep us alive. It does this by taking us away from pain and towards  pleasure. Worry can become pleasurable. It can make us feel safe due to its familiarity and habitual nature.

When we realise this, we meet our worry with kindness and compassion. We’re able to recognise that our worry is no longer helping us. Instead, it’s holding us back!

Strategies for letting go of worry

1. Set aside time to worry

Set aside 10 minutes to write down all your worries. During this time, brainstorm worries you have in different areas of your life. For example, career, love, family, friends, health, personal development, environment and finances.

Whether these are big, small, rational or irrational - write them down. Set an alarm or timer and allow yourself to worry without judgement. Once 10 minutes is up, acknowledge that your worry time is up.

2. Categorise your worries into practical and hypothetical worries

Practical worries are those which you have control over. You can do something about them. Hypothetical worries are those which you have no control over.

Once you have done this, you can begin to separate your worries. They become worries that you can create actions plans for, and worries that you can try to let go of.

3. Practice presence and mindfulness

Consider doing the mindfulness practice below, to gain more control over your thoughts and feelings.

• Notice when a worry arises.
• Be curious about the worry.
• Is it true? Necessary? Helpful?
• Notice the sensations as a result of the worry.
• Bring attention to breath, feeling grounded and connected.
• During every exhale, try to let go of any physical tension or tightness.
• Keep bringing your awareness back to this moment.

Every time we choose to let go of hypothetical worries, we break the habit of thought. We then replace it  with a new, more healthy one. In time, this will become automatic.

4. Repeat mantras and affirmations

Creating mantras or affirmations gives your mind something productive to focus on. Repeat them regularly to distract yourself from worrying thoughts.

Examples of mantras that can help are; I am calm, I am safe, there is nothing to worry about.

5. Create a plan for practical worries

After categorising your list, focus on a practical worry. List as many actions as possible that will help you to solve the issue. Remember, practical worries are those you can find solutions to!

After you have your lift, write down the pros and cons to each action you have suggested to solve your worry. Order them into the actions you will try first, and are most likely to help. Commit to taking action and completing the first item on your list. Afterwards, see how you feel. Realising you've done everything you can should make you feel more empowered.

Watch Grace’s short mind and body awareness video here.

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality”

— Seneca